Mental Health
by aloneinmymindwithghosts
Summary: So... I'm giving the turtles mental differences and I feel like a jerk because of it... but I'm doing it anyway! If you have ideas, you can tell me in the reviews. I suck at descriptions. I'm sorry. Rated K-plus just to be safe. May be upsetting to some people, I don't know.
1. Introduction

_Hi! It's Rhubarb! It's been forever and I'm sorry!_

_This idea came to me a few days ago and I was debating whether or not to go through with it. I was reading some fanfictions and realized that people gave the turtles mental... I'm not comfortable using the term 'disorders'... differences? Is that okay? Like, some people gave Mikey ADHD or Donnie OCD, so I thought I might try it out! _

_I want to do synesthesia, Asperger's syndrome, OCD, anxiety, selective mutism, and ADHD. If anyone has suggestions or requests, feel free to tell me! I'm excited for this. And if you want, you can tell me what turtle should have what on the list above._

_Again, I'm super sorry about not doing anything, but I've had no ideas recently until this one popped into my head. I hope you're okay with it. Mental health has been a recent interest of mine and I wanted to do something with it._

_I hope you support my weird ideas and that you like the plan for this. I'm looking forward to this!_


	2. Mikey- ADHD

_Hey! So I have the first chapter, in which Mikey had ADHD. I have to say, I am shocked by the support this has gotten already. I mean, I post, like, right before bed, and then I wake up and there are, like, four reviews! Thanks so much to my biggest supporters, Cinnabunnies5123, you were right on this the second I published and GomperEatsAll, thank you for your excitment! It makes me want to get this out for you all! Thanks to the two guests who reviewed and Wanda, your ideas are all in consideration. I think I'm doing Donnie with selective mutism next, be ready for some turtle tots. It's my first try at writing turtle tots, so I'm sorry in advance if it sucks._

_And let's see... do I own TMNT?_

_Artichoke: Keep dreaming._

_Yeah. I don't own them._

* * *

Mikey shifted his weight again as the four turtles meditated for the last part of training, opening one eye just a little. Leo had his eyes closed and hands placed on his knees, a neutral expression on his face. Raph's eye ridges were knotted together but he looked as if he was meditating. Whether he was or wasn't was hard for Mikey to deduce. Donnie was actually meditating this time instead of making plans for his experiments or inventions, Mikey could tell by the fact that he didn't look so much as if he was concentrating on something and more relaxed than Mikey had seen him in a while.

He looked towards the base of the tree, where Splinter would have been. Mikey fidgeted, twisting his hands around each other. A small lump formed in his throat as he tried to push his thoughts away again, especially the ones of his late father.

Leo suddenly moved to his right, getting to his feet. "Dismissed," he said and Mikey sprang up. Raph stayed in the dojo to do some extra sparring with Leo, something the two eldest siblings had agreed on before the morning's training session. Donnie went to his lab as Mikey went to the kitchen.

"What's up, my kitty-kitty-kitty?" he asked, scratching her under the chin as she meowed in pleasure. Bouncing from one foot to the other, Mikey started making eggs for his brothers. They usually had breakfast after training now, since Leo had taken on the role of sensei, and Mikey didn't mind making the meals. Plus, there was no way he was letting Leo touch the toaster. Or anything else. Mikey swore that Leo would find a way to burn water, that's how bad he was in the kitchen.

Mikey hummed to himself as he cooked, wincing as he heard a thud from the dojo. Leo stepped out soon after, Raph moving slower behind him. "I'm going to beat you next time, Fearless," Raph grumbled, cracking his neck.

"Whatever, Raph," Leo said, smirking and holding his hands to Raph's neck. The red-masked turtle flinched as ducked a little as Mikey grinned, dishing out eggs on plates.

"Oh, Donnie!" Mikey called, jumping on his toes as he slid the plates down the counter to Leo and Raph. "Breakfast's ready!"

"Coming," Donnie called, closing the lid of his laptop and exiting his lab. He looked at Mikey with subtle curiosity, noting that he kept bouncing as Donnie entered the kitchen. "Thanks, Mikey."

"No problem, bro!" Mikey said, sitting down as well to eat his eggs. Donnie watched his hyperactive little brother as he restlessly shifted his position on the stool a few times before eating his own meal. His suspicions were confirmed.

As the four turtles cleaned up their plates and put them on a drying mat, Donnie pulled Leo aside and the two stepped into the dojo.

"Leo-" Donnie started, then hesitated at the news he had to share.

"What is it, Donnie?" Leo asked calmly.

"I've been doing some research… and watching Mikey's behavior… and he shows a lot of the signs of someone with ADHD," Donnie said quietly.

Leo had kind of a blank look on his face. He knew that Mikey acted childish and less mature than his brothers, but he had always chalked this up to his sunny personality and fun-loving spirit. Never had it occurred to him that Mikey might actually have ADHD. "You mean, like, that's why he can't pay attention or stop moving around during mediation?" he asked, looking at Donnie with wide blue eyes.

Donnie nodded. "I've been looking into it for a little while now, about a week, but wasn't positive until today."

Leo shook his head. "I didn't ever think there was something wrong with him."

"There's nothing wrong with him!" Donnie snapped, looking his eldest brother right in the eye. "He's still Mikey, and nothing is going to change that."

Leo sighed. "I didn't mean it that way. Just- shell, how are we going to tell him? Should I or should you? I mean, you're pretty close to him…"

Donnie shook his head. "Leo, as sensei it's your job to make sure that we're all safe and happy. Even more than it was just as leader. I think you should tell him."

Leo nodded. "Thank you for coming to me, Donnie."

Donnie shrugged. "I just didn't want to tell Mikey yet, or for shell's sake, Raph." Then he left the dojo.

Leo sighed. How was he supposed to tell his youngest brother that he had attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder? Leo didn't want Mikey to start thinking about himself differently than his brothers, like he was less than them or even stupid.

"Leo?" Mikey asked, opening one of the dojo's sliding doors. "Donnie said you wanted to talk to me?"

"Oh, uh, y-yeah," Leo said, slightly flustered, in no way prepared for this.

"Am I in trouble?" Mikey asked. "I swear, I didn't put cockroaches in Raph's room this morning. I promise!"

"No, Mikey, you're not in trouble," Leo said. "I just… shell, I don't know how to say this," he muttered to himself. "You know how you can't pay attention all the time and are restless during meditation?" A single quiet nod from Mikey. "Well, Donnie figured out why."

Mikey looked at Leo with wide eyes. "He did? Really?"

"Donnie says you have ADHD," Leo told him, watching his younger brother's face light up.

"Yes! Thank you, D!" he yelled, tackling Leo in a hug. This was not the reaction Leo was expecting from his younger brother. He was expecting shock, disbelief, sadness, even a little bit of anger, but not joy.

Mikey sat back up, wiping at his eyes. "Sorry, Leo, it's just that I've always wondered why I can't be like you guys and just sit still or be quiet, like, ever, and now I finally have the answer!" He laughed, a light happy sound mixed with happy tears falling down Mikey's face. "I'm just so relieved, you know? That I know what it is and that it has a name, you know?" he said.

Leo nodded, feeling a smile tug at the edges of his face. But, of course, the moment came to an abrupt close by a girly shriek of terror.

"WHAT THE- ROACHES?! MIKEY, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Raph yelled, stomping out of his room.

Leo looked calmly at Mikey's still beaming face, though there was a hint of fear in his blue eyes.

"Run."

* * *

_So, what'd you think? I know, I'm still crap at writing, but I think I can do little short stories. I hope you enjoyed this! See you in a few days with the next chapter!_


	3. Donnie- Selective Mutism

_I'm back with the next chapter! It's bad, like usual, but I hope you enjoy it anyway. In this, Donnie is not diagnosed and this is a story of him on a regular evening as his brothers and father try to interact with him, not realizing that he has selective mutism. I think I did okay, but feel free to tell me of any errors or that my writing plain sucks. This is my first attempt at turtle tots, so don't be surprised if it's worse than my usual suckage. Thank you to Cinnabunnies5123 for your support!_

_*shakes Magic 8 ball* Do I own TMNT? _

_Magic 8 ball: My reply is no._

_STOP LYING! *chucks Magic 8 ball out the window* I still don't own them._

* * *

Donnie was sitting off to the side again, out of the way of his brothers. Just like he had done the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that.

Splinter sighed. His second youngest son often shied away from his brothers and father for reasons he couldn't even think of. Surely the child was not afraid of them. He had made sure to protect them and care for them in every way he could think of.

So why did Donnie prefer to be alone? Why did he sleep infrequently? Why did he refuse to speak?

His brothers had been stringing together words into sentences for a few months now whereas Donnie had yet to speak a single word. He didn't whimper or giggle or coo. When he was upset or hurt he cried silently and didn't allow anyone to comfort him. It worried Splinter to the point where he was beginning to think Donatello was mute.

"Father?" A young voice interrupted his thoughts. The mutant rat looked down to see his youngest, Michelangelo, looking up at him with bright blue eyes. "Donnie alone."

Splinter sighed. "Yes, Michelangelo, Donatello is alone. Perhaps you would like to invite him into the game you and your brothers are playing?" Mikey nodded, giggling to himself as he approached his immediate older brother.

"Donnie? Wanna play with Leo and Raphie and me?" he asked Donnie with excitement in his eyes. "We playing with blocks."

Donnie only ducked his gaze and shook his head, turning back to his own small pile of blocks. The young turtle continued to stack them, one by one, in a pattern Splinter wasn't paying attention to. Rather, he frowned and waited for Mikey to come back to him.

"Donnie no talk. He stay alone," Mikey pouted.

Splinter nodded. "You may go back to playing with your other brothers. I believe I should have a talk with Donatello," he said, standing up and leaving his three other sons in the living room as he picked up Donnie and took him into the kitchen.

"Donatello, why do you continue to stay silent? You do not speak to anyone, neither do you seek out attention or comfort. Is there something wrong?" Suddenly, Splinter felt a little stupid talking to someone he knew wouldn't respond, but still felt that Donatello might be listening to him. "I only wish I could hear your voice, even just once." He dropped his gaze down to his lap. "Please, my son."

Donatello stayed silent.

Splinter exhaled slowly. He figured he must have done something wrong while the turtles were still infants. Maybe he hadn't paid as much attention to Donatello as he could have. The turtle had always been quiet and sort of faded behind his more vocal brothers, causing Splinter to ignore him at times and cause the silence.

"Come, Donatello," he said. "Let's go check on your brothers." He picked the tot up and briefly wondered if he could even understand him, on account of not even responding to him half the time. Others he would simply follow what his brothers were doing.

"Father! Raph drop blocks on Mikey!" Leo called from in front of the couch Splinter had found. A small whimpering was heard from the little terrapin, who was crawling out of the mess.

"Raphael," Splinter said sternly. "Did you knock the blocks over on purpose?"

"No! I trip and bump into the tower and it drop on Mikey!" Raph said.

"Michelangelo, is this true?" Splinter asked, turning to Mikey.

The little turtle nodded. "Hai, Father. Raphie stumble."

Splinter nodded. "Very well. Can the three of you pick up your blocks and go into the kitchen? It is time for dinner."

Groans came from Raph and Mikey as Leo nudged them to start picking up the blocks.

"Donatello, will you pick up your blocks as well?" Splinter asked slowly, hoping Donnie would understand. He nodded, going over to his corner and sweeping the blocks into a box.

Splinter went to the kitchen to prepare the worms and algae they had for every meal and then watched them as they cleaned. Leonardo, Raphael, and Michelangelo were all happily chatting about something while Donatello silently put the blocks in the box, not even whimpering or making any acknowledgement when a block fell on one of his feet. Ten minutes later, all the blocks were put away.

"Very good, my sons," Splinter said, leading them into the kitchen and placing them on the stools. He made sure to put Donnie between Mikey and Leo, hoping the two could coax a response out of him. He passed out the plates and told the mutant turtles that they could eat.

He was thankful that the children could feed themselves with the chopsticks instead of him having to take turns feeding them like he had in his earlier years. Mikey was eagerly eating his food, gulping down the worms and algae like they were candy. Raph ate more slowly but had trouble with the chopsticks sometimes and stabbed at it. Leo held the chopsticks perfectly and carefully put each bite in his mouth. Donnie was nervously glancing at his brothers, seemingly trying to make himself smaller and make the distance between him and his siblings bigger.

Splinter noted this, wondering if it Donnie was only afraid of being in tight spaces and that was why he didn't like being close to his brothers. But he would still speak normally if that were the case…

The mystery would have to wait for another day. For now, he made sure that Donnie ate at least a little bit.

After dinner, Splinter lead them into the room they shared. "Would you like a bedtime story?"

Mikey instantly started overwhelming Splinter with stories he wanted to hear about until Raph slapped his head. Leo waited patiently on his tatami mat for Splinter to begin, and Donnie sat still on his own tatami mat, the one that was closest to the door. He seemed like he had spaced out in the small room, his eyes glazed over as he hugged his knees to his plastron and trembled slightly.

Knowing Donnie would be even harder to get through to if Splinter approached him, the rat master left him alone until he calmed down, entertaining Mikey, Raph, and Leo with a story of the Yokai, letting them interject with their little comments and swaying the turtles to sleep, even managing to relax Donatello a little bit. He observed his son as he slowly came out of his daze, his eyes focusing again on his brothers and his surroundings, taking everything in before lying down.

"I love you, my sons," Splinter whispered near the door.

A near silent reply reached his sensitive ears. "I love you too, Father."

* * *

_Did you like it? Did you hate it? Did it suck? I think it was kind of cute. See in a little bit with the next chapter, I'm doing Raph and I kind of have no idea what to do with him. Any ideas? I'm thinking Asperger's, but am not 100% sure. Tell me what you think in the reviews!_


	4. Raph- Asperger's

_AND THE THIRD CHAPTER EMERGES FROM THE DEPTHS OF MY GOOGLE DRIVE!_

_So it's been forever. I'm so sorry about that. My computer started inconsistently screwing me over, so it sucks right now. Go look on my profile for the whole story. This chapter took me forever to write because I had pretty much no idea for what I was doing and I could only find fanfics where Donnie had Asperger's and had to come up with this with literally no inspiration because I mostly get my inspiration from other people's stories, so... yeah. THANK YOU SO MUCH to Cinnabunnies5123, GomperEatsAll, and Wanda! Your support always means so much to me! I realized I never really told you why these are short, and this one ends kind of weirdly, so I thought I would tell you. I make these stories each only two pages in my Google Drive, and that's why they're short._

_Do I own TMNT? *pulls paper out of basket*_

_*reads paper*_

_I don't._

* * *

"They don't understand me," Raph whispered to Spike, the newly rescued turtle he had decided to keep as a pet. "They just don't get it."

Spike chomped on his leaf, chewing contentedly on it as Raph's green eyes locked on the turtle with an intensity usually only seen in Donnie.

"They just don't get it," he repeated. "Leo's the perfect child… exactly what Splinter wants. Donnie's the genius, so obviously Splinter's proud of him, and Mikey's always happy, which helps keep the rest of them happy. But I just don't fit in. And I guess I don't really even understand them either." He sighed. Confiding in Spike was much safer than telling anyone else, and the little turtle was the only one he could trust with his secret…

He knew he was different from his brothers somehow. He had some similarities to each of them, like zeroing in on a specific topic like Donnie did, but he had more complete opposites. Such as with Mikey, who always showed his emotions, or with Leo, who had some kind of sixth sense when it came to knowing how someone was feeling, even if they didn't say it. Raph wasn't like that.

Now that he thought about it, he and Donnie were more alike than he had thought. They both didn't really know when someone was annoyed at them, like when Donnie went on one of his long-winded explanations on something sciency that no one cared about, and they didn't always know when to be quiet. They were both sarcastic, Raph more than Donnie, but Donnie didn't always pick up on others' sarcasm. Raph almost never knew what people were feeling while Donnie was just oblivious sometimes.

Maybe he should talk to Donnie…

…but maybe he shouldn't. How did he know how Donnie would react? They were kind of similar, but he was even more different than Donnie was. He was pulled back from his thoughts by his youngest brother.

"Hey, Raph?" Mikey called from the hall.

"What is it, Mikey?" he asked, poking his head outside his door.

"Can I borrow one of your comics?" the freckled turtle asked.

"Um…" Raph said, trying to think of the right response. "I guess."

"Thanks, Raphie!" Mikey said, picking one up from the pile Raph had.

Raph waved it off, turning back to Spike as Mikey went back out of the room. "Do you think I should talk to him? Chew on your leaf if you think I should."

Spike took a bite.

Raph nodded. "Okay, Spike. I'll do it." He stood in his room. "Just… maybe not right now."

Spike didn't take another bite.

"What, you think I should go now?"

A bite.

"What about in an hour or two?"

Spike stayed still.

"Thirty minutes?"

The leaf remained untouched.

"I'm starting to think that you just aren't hungry."

Spike took another bite, then glared at Raph.

"Okay, okay. Fine. I'll talk to Donnie," Raph said, leaving the room. He walked to the lab, where Donnie was more than likely to be, and slid open one of the doors.

Donnie was messing with something when Raph walked in, but looked up. "Hi, Raph," he said, putting his wrench down. "What's up?"

"Nothing much," he said, walking over to his taller brother.

He had kept this a secret for ten years.

Ten years.

How was he supposed to reveal it now?

He took a deep breath. "Donnie, there's something I have to tell you."

Donnie looked at him curiously. "What is it?"

"I don't know how to say this…" he whispered.

"Take your time," Donnie said. "We're in no rush." But he looked uncomfortable being in the situation. He kept glancing back to his desk, like he would much rather be going back to his project.

"Never mind," Raph said, turning away. "It's not important."

"No, Raph," Donnie said. "I think it is."

And that was what Raph didn't understand. How did Donnie know that this was important? It was like he was reading something…

"I think there's something wrong with me," he blurted, letting one of his deepest fears out into the open.

Donnie's eye ridges shot up as he stared at Raph. "What do you mean, the-"

They were interrupted by Leo. "Hey, Donnie, can you fix- why do you look so shocked?" And there it was again. Knowing how someone felt just by looking at them.

Donnie tried to hide it. "Nothing, just something on one of my projects. I figured it out while talking to Raph. Can you come back in a few minutes?"

"Sure," Leo said, closing the door behind him.

Donne turned back to Raph. "What do you mean, there's something wrong with you? Are you-"

"It's not like usual, Donnie. I don't know if there's a way to fix this," Raph said miserably. "I'm just different. It's like, whenever you guys can tell how someone else feels. I can't do that."

"Are you concerned about a lack of empathy?" Donnie asked.

"I don't know," Raph said, confused.

"Can you explain it more?"

"I don't really always know how to respond when someone talks to me, and I don't really like looking you guys in the eye. I don't show my emotions like the rest of you. I just can't explain everything about it though."

Donnie was mumbling to himself. "Missing social cues, socially awkward, hiding emotions…" The rest of his sentence was unintellegible, until Donnie turned back to him. "Raph, there isn't anything wrong with you," Donnie told him.

"So why am I different?" he asked.

"I think… I think you might have Asperger's syndrome."

* * *

_Yeah, like I said, weird ending. Up next is Leo with anxiety! Yay..._

_Please review._


	5. Leo- Anxiety

_Ha! It's done! And in, like, two days! That's it! I feel so accomplished right now... thank you to my biggest supporters, Cinnabunnies5123 and GomperEatsAll! Your reviews were so sweet and I was so happy to see them after I put it up because I had been stuck with it for so long. I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed the chapter! And here's the chapter I promised, this is Leo with anxiety. Again, it sucks like it always does, but this one is kind of more emotional, I think, so... ENJOY! (and PS, go listen to 'I'm Something Else' by SomethingElseYT, the song came out recently and it's awesome!)_

_Let's see... do I own TMNT?_

_*rolls magical die*_

_Frick. I still don't own them. *goes in closet to cry*_

* * *

_I had to protect them. I had to protect them._

The thought repeated over and over in Leo's head as he glanced at Raph, worry and guilt clear on both of their faces.

After all, this was his fault.

He and Raph had started arguing again, just as the Foot were finishing up. Raph had wanted to go all out and attack them, but Leo retorted that it should be a stealth attack, because maybe they could find out what they were up to. Raph countered with 'stealth only wastes time' and the argument had only escalated from there.

Leo adjusted Donnie on his back, asking, "You okay, D?"

"I'm fine," he mumbled, pressing his hand to the wound on his leg. Blood seeped through his fingers, spilling onto Leo.

"Mikey's fine too," Raph said, still sounding a bit heated as he spoke to Leo.

_I let them down. I failed them._

Donnie and Mikey had taken the Foot down by themselves while Leo and Raph were arguing. They had gotten the case they were carrying when Tiger Claw came in, leading the younger brothers into battle as Leo and Raph finally stopped yelling at each other when they heard Mikey yell, "Booyakasha!" Then it all started to unravel. Mikey had been taken down with a strike to the plastron, landing near an unconscious Foot soldier who wasn't as unconscious as they thought. Mikey did recover quickly, but not quickly enough. The soldier had used the hilt of his sword to knock Mikey unconscious and proceeded to run away. Donnie had then battled with Tiger Claw on his own until Leo and Raph came out of their stupor and tried to help him, but the damage was done. There was a deep cut in Donnie's thigh and it hadn't stopped bleeding yet, and Mikey was still unconscious.

_If only I hadn't been arguing with Raph… I could have protected them._

They were still on an adrenaline rush as Leo lifted the manhole cover, both of them racing through the sewers to get back to the lair. Mikey groaned as Raph jostled him, finally coming to.

"What the- why is the ground rushing by so fast? Ugh, my head is killing me."

"Good to have you back, little bro," Raph said.

"What happened?" Mikey asked, tightening his grip on Raph.

"You were knocked unconscious, Shellbrain," Raph responded as they ran into the lair. Leo immediately took Donnie to the lab and handed his taller brother a roll of bandages to stop the bleeding.

"I'm going to have to stitch that up, Donnie," Leo said, fighting off the dread that was starting to eat at him.

_What if there's a next time? What if I can't help them? What if… _

He shook his head, trying to clear it, but the panic was starting to consume him. He didn't realize he was on the floor until Donnie asked, "Leo? Leo, you okay?" His chest was tightening, his ribs squeeze tighter and tighter around his lungs, making it hard to breathe. The world was spinning, spinning, spinning, whirling around him faster and faster.

_I didn't protect them. It's my fault. I'm a failure of a leader and an older brother. I'm sorry, brothers, Sensei. It's my fault…_

"Leo, breathe," Donnie said quietly, pulling Leo out of the downward spiral of panic. "Deep breath, in, two, three. And exhale, out, two, three. Again. In, two three. Out, two, three."

Leo tried to follow Donnie's instructions, but everything was blurring in and out, and his chest kept squeezing, tighter and tighter…

"Leo, come on," Donnie said. "Mikey and I are okay. You didn't really do anything wrong. It was a stupid mistake from me, it was my idea to go in and attack. You aren't at fault, Leo. Come on, breathe, in, two, three. Out, two three."

Leo started relaxing, taking deep breaths in and letting them out.

"That's it, Leo. You're okay," Donnie whispered, helping his older brother up and wincing from the weight on his leg, making Leo pull back and lean on the desk instead.

"Sorry, Donnie. I didn't mean to shut down on you," Leo said shakily, cursing himself for having the attack.

"Does that happen often?" Donnie asked, looking at him worriedly.

"Often enough," Leo muttered, not knowing Donnie could hear it.

"When?" Donnie asked, wrapping up his leg.

"Usually at night," Leo admitted. "Look, Donnie, it's nothing…"

"It was a panic attack," Donnie said, ignoring the look of surprise on Leo's face. "I'm sure you were aware of what they are, right?"

"Yeah…" Leo rubbed the back of his neck, unsure of where Donnie was going with this.

"Leo, you're hiding something," Donnie said, nailing Leo with an upset and angry glare. "Tell me what's going on."

"Donnie, I'm fine. It's over now and I don't want you worrying about it," Leo told his younger brother.

"Leo, I'm your brother. It's my job to worry about you guys. I know you do it all the time," Donnie said, starting to get angry.

"And that's the reason I get those panic attacks," Leo said, then instantly regretting that he let that slip. Knowing he couldn't take it back now, he decided to tell Don the rest of it. "I worry too much about you guys, okay? And Splinter says I have some sort of anxiety about it, so whenever it happens, it's usually because I'm worrying too much about you guys." Leo sighed. "Please don't tell Raph or Mikey."

Donnie looked at him. "Why didn't you tell us?" he asked, sounding a little wounded. "Do you not think we can handle it or anything?"

"No, no, it's not that. I don't want to seem weak in front of you guys. I'm the oldest brother, the leader, and I have to stay strong for you. I didn't want you to think any less of me," Leo confessed.

"Do you guys think I'm less than the rest of you because I'm not as strong as you guys and because I stay in the lab, working on my projects? No. Why would we think less of you?" Donnie asked.

"I don't know," Leo whispered as Donnie stood up and the two embraced.

A bright flash caused them to stumble apart and they saw their youngest brother standing in the doorway with a camera in his hands.

"MIKEY!"

* * *

_Yay! I think I may have succeeded in doing 'fluff', whatever that is! I need some ideas for the next chapters, I want to do one more round because I didn't get to OCD for Donnie or synesthesia (still undecided) so if anyone has any suggestions, they would be greatly __appreciated! I hope (if you had it, mine is coming to an end) that your spring break was awesome!_


	6. Mikey- Dyslexia

_I'm back with more terrible writing! I have Mikey with dyslexia in this chapter, but you already knew that if you read the chapter title. Thanks to Cinnabunnies5123 and Guest for the wonderful reviews! I hope you enjoy this chapter, and hopefully I'll be able to put the next one out soon. Bonus points to anyone who can guess it! And I got my computer fixed, so I don't have to restart it all the time! Yay! I probably will be busy though, I'm helping distortedscreaminginmysoul with her story, 'Hiding Emotions'. She came up with the whole idea and it's really, really, good. She's writing it, I'm proofreading and helping her through parts she gets stuck on, and I recommend going to read it when you finish with this chapter._

_I forgot to say I don't own TMNT! Agh! I still don't own them, but I now own TMNT stickers for my laptop!_

* * *

Splinter smiled tiredly at his young sons. While teaching them did have it's pros, there were also cons.

For instance, Donnie was progressing at a much faster rate than his brothers. Leo was doing well but sometimes got impatient when he couldn't figure out what he was working on. Raph had absolutely no patience and had no interest for the lessons. And Mikey…

Splinter furrowed his brow. His youngest son had been so excited to learn, but was now trying to come up with excuses to get out of the lessons. It confused him.

"Raphael, focus on your own paper," he said, frowning at his second oldest son. The turtle ducked his head sheepishly and stopped peeking at Leo's paper.

Donnie's tongue was poking out of his mouth as he scribbled down the last answer to the math problems Splinter had given them. He grinned as he finished it, smacking his pencil on the ground they were all sitting on and raising his hand eagerly.

"What?" Raph cried. "There's no way you finished all those problems that fast! You have to be cheating!"

"I don't know, Raph," Leo said, glancing at his younger brother. "He doesn't seem to just be filling in random answers like you are."

Raph seethed at this. "I'll show you!" he yelled. "I'm going to finish before you do!" He scrambled to get back to his paper, scribbling down numbers as he went.

Leo simply sighed and went back to his own paper. Mikey, who had been oddly silent, sent a puppy dog eyes glance to Donnie behind Splinter's back. Donnie wandered over to where Mikey was sitting near the bench. "What is it, Mikey?" Donnie whispered, looking at Mikey's paper. The youngest turtle hadn't written anything down, instead doodling in the margins. Donnie wasn't interested in the drawings, however. "Are you having trouble understanding the problems?"

Mikey shook his head, wiping at his eyes. "I don't even know what they say," he whispered back, his voice shaking.

Donnie raised an eye ridge. "What do you mean? It's fairly simple…"

"No, it's not that," Mikey said, trying to explain. "I can't see any of the words."

"I still don't get what you're saying," Donnie said, frowning.

"They're all blurry and the letters keep moving," Mikey said. "They jump around, moving all around the paper whenever I try to focus on them."

Donnie looked at him, mystified. "I've never read about anything like that," he said to Mikey, watching his little brother's face fall. "Not that it's bad! It just makes you unique!" His little brother brightened up a little bit at that, but his mood was still forlorn.

"Donatello, please go back to your spot," Splinter said, looking over at his two youngest.

"I'll see what I can find," Donnie promised Mikey, forced to leave him to struggle through the problems alone.

He went back to his spot on the floor, slightly to the right of Mikey and in front of Raph and Leo. Splinter handed him another math paper, this time with harder multiplication problems. Unbeknownst to Raph, Donnie was actually doing harder math than any of his other brothers, and if Raph found out, would surely make him even more angry at him. He had agreed to keep it a secret with Splinter, but still sometimes wished he was at the same level as his brothers so he wouldn't be yelled at by Raph as much.

Mikey wiped his eyes again, sniffling as the tears blurred his vision. Why couldn't the letters stop moving? He put all of his concentration into the letters, watching as one slowly formed into a letter, or what he supposed was one. He remembered when Splinter had taught them about the alphabet, but the letters had been blurry then too.

He thought back. This letter was called a, he remembered. That was the first letter of the alphabet, so the second one must be b, and then c, and so on.

But that didn't make any sense…

Leo handed in his paper as well, then patiently waited for Raph to finish, shaking his head a little as Donnie handed in his other paper. He still couldn't understand why Donnie got the problems with the x's.

Raph finally slammed down his pencil, thrusting his paper at Splinter. "Good effort, Raphael," he said with a sigh as his two older sons ran off to the dojo. Donnie stayed in the living room, trying to help Mikey with his math. Splinter watched on with suspicion that morphed to confusion as he saw Donnie reading the problem to Mikey. Mikey then slowly talked it out with Donnie, who then wrote it down for him.

"I promise I'm not writing down the correct answers, Father," Donnie said as Mikey handed in his paper. "He worked through them with me and I simply helped him write them down and read the problems to him. He can't seem to read the words on the page, but it isn't a problem with his vision. I don't know what it could be," Donnie said, seeming ashamed.

"Do not worry, Donatello. We can figure out what is going on," Splinter said, smiling at Donnie as he left the living room.

And so weeks passed of Donnie researching Mikey's issue to no avail. Splinter tried to help, bringing whatever information he could from his trips to the surface. Donnie was staying up later than Splinter would have liked looking over the matter in question, trying to find out what was going on with Mikey. Throughout it all, Splinter still continued their training and lessons, letting Donnie help Mikey with his work when he finished. Raph and Leo were informed about it as well but didn't know what they could do to help.

Finally, about a week and a half of research later, Donnie had exhausted all of his sources. "I can't find anything," he said as they sat down for breakfast one day. There were dark circles under the young turtle's eyes and he nearly fell asleep during meditation. Splinter didn't reprimand him as he usually would, knowing that he was only trying to help his brother.

Mikey still struggled, but learned that if he focused hard he could make out the letters, allowing Splinter to teach him what he could. He tried to bring Donnie a new book whenever he could. On this particular day, he noticed a worn textbook titled 'Learning Disabilities'. He was intrigued and scooped it up, putting it in his bag for Donnie. After finding a few more useful items he slipped back into the sewers, handing the book off to his genius son as soon as he entered the room.

Donnie instantly began poring over the pages, reading about some things that he already heard of, and some that were new. His heart skipped a beat as he arrived at a chapter about dyslexia. Donnie read over it, skimming through once and then reading all the details.

"I GOT IT!" he yelled.

* * *

_So, yet another weird ending by me. *sigh* I'm starting a project in science and social studies, and then I have finals, so I'm going to be busy. We'll see how the updates go, but don't be surprised if there's less content from me. Again, bonus points to whoever guesses the next chapter!_


	7. Donnie- OCD

_...I think this is officially the worst chapter I have ever written. Thank you to Cinnabunnies5123 for the review on the last chapter, I'm really sorry if it felt rushed. I was just trying to fill the two pages and had no idea how the heck to do it, so I decided to go with the timeskip... *regrets decision* Also, thanks to the Guest who left a review on Leo's chapter, it was very kind. GomperEatsAll, I miss you! And wait, what's this? No one tried to guess this chapter? NO ONE GETS BONUS POINTS! There is a poll on my account, so go do that, please._

_I don't own the turtles... because if I did, Donnie and April would be better fighters._

* * *

"This is so stupid," Donnie muttered to himself as he adjusted the circuit board again. Then again. And again. No, that equaled twelve times. And twelve was bad. He started over. Donnie corrected the circuit board once. Twice. Three times. He could finally breathe again.

He slumped in his chair. He couldn't let anyone know about this… the obsessions. Everything had to be right. He thought back to the retromutagen. Part of the reason he'd had so much trouble with it is that he was especially stressed, especially when the infamous 'try harder' incident had happened. He'd kept having the flashes of panic when it came to the numbers and had to cross some of them out, therefore messing up the solution.

"Hey, Don?" Leo asked, knocking on the door. "Come on, you've been working in here for hours. Mikey and Raph are already asleep, and I'm about ready to turn in myself."

"In a minute, Leo," Donnie said. Part of the reason he stayed up so late at night was so he could immerse himself in the project as opposed to falling victim to more compulsions and put off doing his routine.

"Come on, Donnie. Ten more minutes," Leo said, trying to compromise.

"Leo," Donnie said, pleading. "I need to finish this." He really didn't. He just wanted to hold off the routine.

"Fine," Leo said. "I'm going to bed."

Donnie let out a sigh of relief as Leo left. He could keep it at bay for a little while, thank goodness. He just needed to focus, ignore the obsessions. He went back to tinkering with the new robot he was making, as a replacement for Metalhead. Picking up the mask from his desk, Donnie took out his blowtorch and flipped the mask over his face as he carefully sautered two pieces of metal together. Then he put it over the circuit board, testing the strength. It was good.

_Just keep doing this, focus on the work. Ignore it… it doesn't need fixing… _He shut his eyes, trying to shut it out. _Maybe do something that you won't mess up as much if you do it._ Donnie sighed, picking up one of his side projects instead of the robot. Absentmindedly, he adjusted one of the screws, thinking about the first time one of the obsessions hit.

He had been alone in the lab, working on the TV remote when he was twelve. Nothing especially interesting had happened that day, they had finished a training session and Mikey had sat down to watch some TV when the remote wouldn't work. He had given it to Don, who assured him that he could fix it soon. So he had dropped his other project to work on the remote for Mikey.

He was almost done when he felt like readjusting the chip he had fixed. So he went back to the circuit board and adjusted the chip, thinking it was harmless to do so. But the action quickly became repetitive, with more and more pressure on his plastron each time he failed.

Finally, it felt right. Donnie let it be, confused as to what had just happened. He remembered looking up 'repeating an action over and over again because it didn't feel right'. And the first thing that had popped up was OCD.

His brothers had often teased him about being OCD, but he didn't ever think that he actually had it. The small repetitions had quickly escalated over a period of months, developing into thoughts of something bad happening to his brothers if he didn't do it, to certain numbers feeling wrong, to making a routine to deal with it, and then the panic attacks at night. He didn't get them often, but sometimes they happened if they had gone through a particularly stressful day.

Now he just wished his brothers would stop teasing him. They still didn't know, but often called him OCD after he had spent a long period of time in the lab. If only they knew how awful it was to deal with it every day.

They didn't know all the struggles that went with it.

How he would get locked into the actions, not able to stop doing it until it felt right.

What the thoughts that went through his head were when getting stuck in one of the obsessions.

How frustrating it was to not be able to write down something he had figured out if it had to do with numbers when he knew the answer and had to get it on paper.

Why he had to stay up so late at night, to hold off the routine.

How awful the attacks felt, like he was drowning.

Donnie kept fiddling with the gadget, trying to focus on the mechanics of it before giving up on trying. He instead started writing in his journal about the progress he had made today on the robot, carefully recording every detail it mattered. This part was usually okay, unless…

He scratched out a number.

…that happened.

Donnie groaned, putting his head between his hands. Why did this keep happening? The numbers were getting worse, more demanding of his attention. He had scratched out a lot yesterday while working on a new project, one he even doubted he could pull off. But he swore to Timothy that he would turn him back to normal…

He had been trying to make a type of retromutagen to help Timothy, since his mutation was… unique, to say the least. But he couldn't unfreeze him to test it, since it was too dangerous. Still, he had to try. For Timothy. He had sworn that he would protect him, and he failed. Timothy had been his responsibility, and he still was. Donnie owed it to him.

He had been figuring that he could mix the retromutagen with some of the gelatinous substance Timothy was made of and was trying to figure out if he could unfreeze just part of him while writing down how much retromutagen he might need to make when testing, and the numbers were wrong. So many of them were wrong. Some of them that were usually okay were bad that day and he just couldn't do it.

"This is so stupid," he said again. Donnie was so tired of dealing with this, not being able to get all the work done that he wanted to. If he could tell his brothers…

They might actually understand. After all, they did tease him about having it all the time, so they might be able to accept the fact that it wasn't just a joke.

But then again, they might just tease him more about it.

He thankfully didn't have any of the compulsions, like flicking the lights on and off just if he felt like he needed to. His brothers would definitely find out then.

_How would Sensei handle it?_

Donnie pushed the thought away. Not even going there.

He sighed, getting up from his desk. It was time to start the routine.

* * *

_And again, it sucks, I'm sorry. Just let me be stupid and suck at writing in peace._


	8. Raph- Synesthesia

_So I managed to freak myself out while writing this chapter... I opened it in my Google Drive and saw that there was the cursor thing where it's a different color, signifying that someone else was in. But I just had another tab with it open... *sigh* I'm stupid. Again, this one actually sucks worse than all of them. I also realized that they almost never tell anyone what's happening, but that's finally been addressed in this chapter! Yay! Raph's going to tell them... Thank you so much to Cinnabunnies5123 for the sweet review, hopefully this one is actually good. And GomperEatsAll, thank you so much! I've missed you! I can understand the stress of school, I'm doing a huge project that crosses two of my classes. I hope you're doing well! And to Raphfangirl2807, I'm trying to do a sequel! It's kind of hard, but I'm going to attempt to do it. Oh, and I opened up a poll on my profile, so go vote on that! __Only one more chapter to go! Anyone want to guess? I'll give you bonus points if you do! Like with Donnie... except no one guessed. _

_Me: Hey, Dad, do I own the TMNT?_

_Dad: Ha. No._

_*sadness*_

* * *

"Raph?" Leo called out, bringing his name to the front of Raph's mind. The hotheaded turtle growled, trying to ignore the sparkly pink name. Of all colors, why did his have to be pink?

"What is it?" he snapped, going to the dojo.

"Mikey kind of pranked me," Leo admitted, and the mention of Mikey's name brought the translucent orange, gummy-like texture to him. Raph ignored it, smirking at Leo's soaked form.

"He finally got you, didn't he?" Raph asked.

Leo's cheeks blushed red in embarrassment. "I was practicing a kata because we have patrol soon and he was hiding in the tree. I guess I was too focused on the kata…"

Raph shook his head. "Want me to get you a towel?"

Leo waved the offer off, squeezing out his mask tails. "I'm good," he said. "But thanks for the offer."

Raph shrugged. "Whatever you say, Fearless." The nickname was close to Leo's actual name colors, a midnight blue, whereas Leo's name was ocean blue. Their full names were a little bit lighter than their preferred, shorter version.

All Raph had known was the colors. The bright green a and the darkened gold of the number 6. There was only one time in his life that he hadn't been with the colors…

When Master Splinter had died.

That period had left him without the colors he was so used to, the grief turning everything dark. It hadn't been until Leo dropped the Shredder's mutated helmet at their feet that the colors had returned, startling him with blue bubbles where the fire was, the sound triggering them.

Of his brothers, only Mikey knew. Raph had only told him when Raph had started frowning at one of his comics, since the colors of the letters were wrong. B was supposed to be periwinkle, not red.

"Hey, Raph, that's the best part of the comic!" Mikey had said. "Why are you frowning?"

Raph had tried to come up with an excuse, but nothing could convince Mikey. He had pleaded for about half an hour before Raph finally cracked, swearing his littlest brother to secrecy before telling him. Mikey hadn't laughed or anything, instead he had been very interested in it. He had also laughed his shell off when he found out how Raph saw his name.

"Hey, Raph," Donnie said, stepping out of his lab and rubbing his eyes. Suddenly, a certain freckled turtle jumped out and threw a water balloon at the genius.

"Dr. Prankenstein strikes again! I told Leo you would be next, D!" Mikey yelled, running away as Don yelled at him.

Raph chuckled, thinking about Donnie had so many nicknames. All were varyed shades of purple, though they were lighter when April said them, for whatever reason. His full name, Donatello, was an iris color, and his normal nickname was mauve. However, his other nickname, Don, was lavender, and D, the final one, was the color of the letter d, plain purple.

Raph wondered what had happened to give him synesthesia. Splinter hadn't had it, so he couldn't have gotten it from him. Maybe one of the workers that had touched him last had it and caused that DNA to mix with his and for him to get it?

"Come on, guys, we have patrol," Leo said. "April-" her name was a bright yellow to him, "-and Casey-" his name was a dark gray, "-are going to meet us on the rooftops above April's place."

"Okay!" Mikey said, beaming. He had run back into the living room as Donnie chased him, stopping when he heard Leo.

"Sounds good," Donnie said. Raph noticed he still turned pink at the mention of April, but he had become much less awkward around her, though Raph had caught a glimpse of another 'Hang With April' chart in the making in his lab.

Raph patted the belt on his shell, making sure he had his sais. He also had shurikens, kunais, and smoke bombs.

They all followed Leo up to the surface, jumping up to the rooftops. Each nearly silent landing brought brown rings to the left of Raph's vision.

"Hey, guys!" April called as they met up on the rooftop. She was dressed in her usual outfit, black jumpsuit with yellow stripes. Casey had his metal mask on his face and wore the spiked rollerblade things on the bottom of his feet.

"Hey, April," Donnie said, smiling softly at her.

"Yo, Case!" Raph said, bumping shoulders with him. "Ready to bust some heads?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," Casey said. "They won't know Casey Jones hit 'em!" With that, he hit a hockey puck as hard as he could, only to have it bounce back at him when it hit the edge of the roof, hitting him in the stomach. "Ow!"

Mikey laughed. "Hit by your own hockey puck. That's sad, yo."

Come on, guys," April said. "Let's go."

They jumped from rooftop to rooftop, talking about the 80s Krang invasion. Bebop and Rocksteady had decided to be good guys, and the Shredder and the single-a Krang had been sent back to where they belonged.

There was a lull in their conversation as they stopped for a break. Raph took a deep breath, looking at Mikey. His younger brother nodded at him.

"Hey, guys," Raph said. "I have something I want to tell you."

Donnie, Leo, April, and Casey turned to him. Mikey just looked at him, already knowing what was going to happen.

"What is it, Raph?" Leo asked.

Raph swallowed hard, taking a deep breath. "I have this thing called synesthesia," he blurted, letting the words out before he could stop them.

April's eyes were wide. "Really?"

"Uh, what's syneceshia?" Casey asked.

Donnie sighed. "Synesthesia. It's when when a sense, like taste, triggers another sense, like sight. So Raph might have colored hearing, which os one of the most common types." No one was making fun of him for it.

Raph grinned. They weren't making fun of him for it. They were curious.

How silly it was of him to think that this needed to stay a secret.

* * *

_Like I said, I think it's worse than normal. BUT I did manage to get this out only a day after I last updated, just because I had so many ideas for it. I kind of cobbled them together, so it's pretty bad... ugh._


	9. Leo- PTSD and Grief

_Aaaaand, it's done! There's some fluff (I think) in this holy crap, FINAL chapter! Thank you so much to Cinnabunnies5123 and GomperEatsAll for staying with me through this and Wanda for the kind review! I love that you enjoy this story, it makes me feel really happy I decided to go through with the idea. I think this is kind of a good way to end this story, just because it's nice and sweet. __Half credit to both Cinnabunnies5123 and hiknwjamo. Again, thank you so much to all of my reviewers, I hope that you all liked this stupid little series of stuff. *facepalm* Just, you know, keep being the lovely people you all are. Oh, and enjoy the story._

_I don't own them... but I might one day._

* * *

Leo took in a shuddering breath. After all the battles they had fought, all the losses and victories, injuries and setbacks, they had finally done it. New York seemed to be safe. Nothing disastrous had happened in weeks. The Kraang and Krang were gone. Shredder was gone.

And so was Splinter.

Leo hadn't allowed himself to have much time to mourn him, with taking down the Shredder, to Kavaxas and the Foot cultists, then the time travel with Usagi and Kintaro, then the Halloween incident, and finally the thing with the 1980's Shredder, Krang, and Bebop and Rocksteady. They had been busy.

But now… there wasn't much to do. Sure, they trained, they had their hobbies, but it didn't feel normal, in some strange way, to have some crisis.

So Leo had spent his empty hours reflecting through meditation.

And thinking about Splinter.

They had seen his spirit, which had been a great joy to them all, but seeing him fade away as the sun rose just made it all too real for them. Especially Leo.

He couldn't bring himself to step on the Wolf Hotel rooftop where his father had died, and every time they got near it, Mikey started looking queasy. Leo was feeling hindsight over the fact that the first place they had ever faced the Shredder had also seemed to be their last. So they stayed away from it. Leo even had trouble going on patrol sometimes, thinking obsessively about the rooftops and his father's death. Sometimes he couldn't bring his mind away from the thoughts, and couldn't sleep through the whirlwind in his mind.

Occasionally the flashbacks would take over, and seeing Splinter get stabbed over and over again in his head made it more real every time. Leo found himself less interested in training, his katas, and didn't have his usual enthusiasm when sparring or on patrol.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to the darkened mind of the leader.

_This is the second time we've lost him._

The first time had been at the black hole generator, when Shredder had murdered him at the end of the world. And then again, at the hands of Shredder, in the exact same way as before…

Leo pressed his hands to his eyes. He would. Not. Cry.

It was his job to be strong. He was the sensei. He had to support his brothers.

But he needed someone to support him as well.

Leo took in another breath, exhaling slowly as he opened his eyes again. He was sitting under the tree in the dojo, watching the soft light fall through the sewer grate. Raph, surprisingly, was across from him, still in the lotus pose. He had finally convinced his hotheaded brother to slow down and meditate with him. They did it almost every day, though Raph sometimes lost his patience and left.

This was Leo's way to cope, following Splinter's advice again.

_Do you know what I do when I miss my loved ones from the past? I focus on the friends I am surrounded by in the present._

Leo took this to heart, spending more time with his brothers. While he did spend a lot of time alone lately, he tried to be with his brothers when he could. Whether it was playing a video game with Mikey, or watching Donnie in the lab, or sparring with Raph, Leo tried to be with them. To offer his support. To be there for them.

Like Splinter had been for them.

Every second that Splinter had been gone left a lingering ache in Leo's chest because everything reminded Leo of his late father. Sure, the blue-banded turtle had tried to stop thinking about him, but it was hard.

Leo couldn't help but feel it was his fault, in some way. That he had been too late to save his father.

"Hey, Leo," Raph said, causing Leo to startle a bit. "Just me."

"Sorry," Leo said, shaking his head to clear it. "I guess I just zoned out."

Raph smirked. "Like shell you did." His smirk faded at the sight of Leo's forlorn face. "Leo, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Leo said, trying to keep his brother out of his personal issues like he always did.

Raph frowned. "It ain't nothing, let me tell you that. Come on, bro, something's bugging you."

Leo looked at his immediate younger brother. "I said, it's nothing," he repeated as Mikey came in.

"Dang it," he said. "I thought you two were still meditating. I was going to prank Raphie." Donnie poked his head around the corner and, seeing Mikey wasn't pranking Raph, came in as well.

Raph shook his head. "You wouldn't."

"Yes, I would," Mikey countered, then sat down with them, Donnie following a moment after. "So what're you talking about?"

"Leo's hiding something," Raph said. "It's been bothering him, but he won't say anything about it."

"I bet he misses Splinter," Mikey said, grinning as Leo's jaw dropped.

"How did you know?" Leo asked.

"Oh, you know, like a turtle do!" Mikey said. In truth, they all knew he was very perceptive and empathetic and probably knew exactly how Leo felt.

"So you do admit that something's bothering you!" Raph crowed, then turned serious. "We all miss him."

"Yeah," Donnie said. "If you ever need someone to talk to about it, we're here."

"I don't want to bother you guys with my issues," Leo mumbled.

"But Leo, we bother you with our problems all the time," Mikey said.

"It's true," Raph said.

"If anyone deserves someone to talk to, it's you," Donnie said. "Come on, Leo, open up. It's not good to keep all your feelings bottled up inside."

"I just miss him," Leo said. "That's all there is to it."

_No it's not, _Mikey mouthed at his brothers. They both nodded.

"We'll leave it at that, for today," Raph said. "But we're continuing this conversation."

"Okay," Leo agreed. There were a few moments of silence until Mikey piped up.

"Who wants pizza?"

* * *

_*deep breath* I SUCCESSFULLY FINISHED ANOTHER STORY! I have a one-shot planned, so I want to get that out soon. Just give me *calculates* ten years to get it out because I have two projects to do, a end-of-chapter test, and a crap ton of homework right now. So see you later, bye._


End file.
